Wife Scarcity – Myth or Reality?

In an era when by societal standards conjugality is increasingly becoming an accomplishment and a yardstick for measuring good parental upbringing, morality and even piety, not having been married beyond a certain age bracket becomes a source of worry especially for the female gender who in spite of their purported numerical preponderance over their male counterpart are ironically said to be in short supply. But is this really the case?

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A tribute to the Eligible Sisters out there

Wife Scarcity – Myth or Reality? Recently I came across a beautifully written piece by Maryam Habu Shinga titled “Husband Scarcity ” in which she tried to talk some sense into some selfstyled spinsters who in addition to having their heads in the clouds also burdened their pretty poor shoulders with a huge box load containing predefined but incoherent and unrealistic fantacies in which they imagined that their would-be husbands must perfectly fit into before they can get married.

But knowingly or unknowingly to them, the weight of this self imposed “box” will or has already effectively reduced the increasingly limited chances they’ve got in their desperate pursuit of the sacred sanctuary which matrimony offers.
So much so, there is now a far greater chance of them attaining the age of menopause faster and long before they ever came close to finding their dream “MR. RIGHT” if ever he does actually exist.

But of course not all ladies of marriageable age out there fit into this description thus leaving the guys on the other hand with an almost equal chunk of the blame. It’s in the light of this fact that I’ve similarly decided to flip the coin, so listen up guys especially all the eligible bachelors out there regardless of your reason or any excuse you may have for being and still remaining one.

If you are damn so fortunate to wake up one morning and discover that you have a woman in your life who’s got an extraordinary mix of beauty and brains, who’s is smart, cute, humble, educated, financially secure or happens to come from a wealthy family and that family of hers had gleefully accepted and welcomed you with open arms; if she loves you so passionately and is very patient with you; if she puts up with all your mess as a “guy man” that you are and is great at fixing stuffs on your behalf; if she is not materialistic and loves you like you are the only man in the world; if anytime she comes around she ensures you are properly dressed and even bends down to clean your shoes or ensures that your shoe laces are neatly tied whilst listening to every word you have to say; if she is such a great cook and never jokes with your stomach and always ensures that you eat the right kind of food and at the right time too; above all if she never throws or allow any kind of tantrums near you amongst others but ensures she sweetened your heart with tranquility and peace; then my friend, it’s my pleasure to announce to you that the “weed” you just smoked is of super quality and you need to go steamer down real fast with a view to getting your head cleared up.

6 dudes 1 girl a
Image Credit: stelladimokokorkus

What’s wrong with you?
She’s too big and curvy, she needs to lose weight, she’s too skinny, she needs to eat plenty of burgers, she doesn’t spend her money on you, only on her siblings; she’s not romantic enough, she’s disrespectful, she’s too diminutive, she’s this and she’s that bla-bla-bla. NO my guy, you are simply too JUDGEMENTAL, SELFISH and PARANOID and you need to stop that shit! What’s your problem buddy?

I often come across these dramatic and fictitious lines which gives the impression that finding a good woman or wife is hard if not practically impossible these days and I know a lot of guys do too e.g:
“You find a responsible woman and she’s not romantic, you find an educated one and she feels she’s always right, you find an illiterate one and she gets angry whenever you correct her, you find a smart one and she fills your ears with lies and half truths, bla-bla-bla.”
Much as some of the time such and such are true, most of the time those are all bullshit my guy; trust me they are, if only you are truly the son of your father.

Come on, go ahead fuck sexy; if she is reasonably intelligent, bros, you gotta keep and cherish her; as a matter of fact you should love her to the moon and back.

What’s wrong with you? You don’t fall in love with the face or bodily features alone, more importantly you fall in love with the personality, the spirit, character and the heart.

If she treats you like your mama, your bestie and girlfriend all rolled in one (3-1), then you got something special bro, what else are you looking for?

Is she the type that is kind hearted (especially towards you) and has a habit of often praying for you with all her heart and hoping that the best comes your way at all times? My brother, she’s got your back, hold tight unto her and don’t let go.

If she understands the importance of speaking life into you, believes in you, remains by your side through your most difficult times, encourages you and gives you inner peace, please embrace her wholeheartedly; she’s God’s gift to you bro.

My guy, real love is not necessarily easy to come by ooo! You don’t just go out to find someone only to cross your fingers believing that everything will work out and all will be just fine.

When you fall in love, it’s most often an instant connection and the chemistry shared is way above your head.
You just talk and get talking and the next thing, you notice the way her lips curved when she smiles or the colour of her eyes and all at once you know you are either lucky or screwed.

Don’t just go out there in search of some so-called princess and spoilt little brat who is badly in need of saving thanks to her rich family background or twisted educational and social orientation, my guy go out there and search for that queen instead (supposing you don’t already have her by your side) who is willing to not only stand by you but also to fight by your side even in your most trying moments.

You don’t fall in love because someone makes you laugh (which of course is good), but what happens when you no longer find her funny?
If you fall in love because she is beautiful or romantic, what happens when all of that fades away?
If you fall in love because she can afford to provide for your needs at the moment, what happens when she looses her wealth and is no longer in a position to provide for you?

My guy, if you fall in love because she has got a great job on the basis of which you foresee a great future together, what happens when suddenly that job is no more?

Real love defies all logic and even reason and when you truly love her, you do not look for reasons, you see beyond reasons; the danger here is whether she reciprocates your love.

On a final note, although not entirely my words; they nonetheless exactly capture how I feel and I guess how any genuine lover out there (male or female) also feels.
So I’ll like to end this piece in the following words:

“I certainly don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomach, I’m far from being considered a model by any stretch of imagination.

“As a matter of fact, I’m dark skinned and more like the normal or average guy you see everyday on the street who obviously at the moment ain’t doing great financially (you can always tell by the look of me) and that’s cos I don’t have a great job just yet, and I still live in a rented house of course.

“Nevertheless, I’m me; I eat food like everyone else and naturally I make use of the toilet (I no dei form at all). I fight my battles single-handedly everyday and will continue to fight until I WIN cos I must win my battles.

“I’m not overly fashionable, of course I can’t afford it even if I wanted to. I probably have more fats than I should, my skin isn’t glowing and I don’t necessarily look robust. I’ve got scars (and plenty of them too) cos I have a history.

“Some times I don’t even cut or do my hair, I just enjoy leaving it in its natural state.
“Naturally therefore, some folks like me, some even love me (or at least pretend they do) but also there are those who hate me for whatever reasons and I really don’t care of course.

“Oh yes like every other humans, I’ve done bad, I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also done good and I’m gonna continue to do good as long as it’s in my ability so to do.
“I’m who I am, you either love me or hate me, I won’t necessarily change but if I love you, I do it with all my heart!
“Thus, I have no apologies for who I am, neither should you. I rest my case.”
If you think this piece is worth reading by every eligible bachelor out there, please share.

Thanks and SHALOM!!

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